CONTRACT:on pumpfun

buy $COLLEGE

est. when the chart died

Back2College

Market is down, so we are going back to school. Enrolling in

buy $COLLEGE
pump.funDexScreener
scroll to enroll ↓
tuition duemarket down so we study upno more sellingcertified senior freshmanbuy $COLLEGEtuition duemarket down so we study upno more sellingcertified senior freshmanbuy $COLLEGE

What is Back2College?

a deeply academic, peer-reviewed, definitely-real origin story

College guy with backpack

Dear Diary,

It was 2026. The chart did a backflip and landed on my portfolio. Rent was due. My vibes were not.

So I did what any rational degen would do — I dug out my old backpack, ironed my one (1) shirt, and went Back2College.

Turns out the real alpha was the tuition we paid along the way. Now we study by day, hold by night. No more selling.

— yours academically, Jeff B. ✎

Fall Semester

The Syllabus

Six (6) extremely accredited courses. Attendance optional, holding mandatory.

HODL 1013 credits

Intro to Not Selling

Learn to ignore the red candle and trust the syllabus.

COPE 2504 credits

Advanced Cope Theory

“It’s not a loss until you go to class.” A deep dive.

MEME 3005 credits

Applied Meme Sciences

Field research on what makes the timeline go brrr.

RAMEN 1102 credits

Budget Macroeconomics

Feeding yourself on bag-holder salary. Lab included.

PUMP 4046 credits

Liquidity & You

Why the pump always happens after you log off.

NAP 9991 credit

Recovery Studies

Mandatory napping between lectures. Highly rated.

buy $COLLEGE

Launched on pump.fun because tuition isn’t paying itself. This is not financial advice, it’s an education.

Tuition ReceiptLIVE

Ticker

$COLLEGE

Chain

Solana

Supply

1B (and a dream)

Tax

0% (we’re broke)

Team

0% (no allowance)

Vibe

immaculate

>
pay tuition (buy $COLLEGE) →
paper hands → detentiondiamond hands → honor rollgm scholars$COLLEGEclass of dropoutspaper hands → detentiondiamond hands → honor rollgm scholars$COLLEGEclass of dropouts
acceptedBack2College student ID card for Jeff Buttlock
your new identity

get your student ID

One bag of $COLLEGE and you’re officially a Certified ‘Senior’ Freshman. Comes with zero perks and infinite clout.

  • ✓Major: Procrastination
  • ✓Minor: Meme Sciences
  • ✓Dorm: The Quiet Floor (lies)
  • ✓Emergency contact: my therapist

The Report Card

our roadmap, but graded by mom and pinned to the fridge

A+

Semester 1

Orientation

Launch on pump.fun. Find the other dropouts. Form study group (group chat).

A

Semester 2

Midterms

Get on DexScreener honor roll. Trend on the timeline. Touch zero grass.

S

Semester 3

Finals

CEX enrollment. Merch drop. Build the campus (community). Graduate rich (copium).

???

Semester 4

Graduation

Throw the caps. Valhalla for diamond hands. We made it, class of $COLLEGE.

A whole class of College guys walking to campus
Two College guys holding a Back2College banner

class is in session.

enroll now — buy $COLLEGE
pump.funDexScreener

$COLLEGE • on pumpfun • not financial advice, it’s an education

If found, please return for a cup of coffee. Maybe. Or just keep it.